Happy Birthday To Me!!

Today is my 24th Birthday.  I wanna thank my friends and family for such a great Christmas and birthday celebrations. The bday singing was beyond awful this year lol so please practice before next time. This blog has been up for 2 years in July… I think.. haha and we are just about to approach 10,000 hits!! I’m sure google gets 10,000 hits a second but I’m feelin’ good so stop sippin’ on the haterade!!

Today we talk about my favorite topic talk about, Love… And where else would we start but to share something personal. So here we go:

How many people fear numbers? Or maybe you have had a phobia? You could be scared of loose change…you could become anxious from walking through large crowds… maybe you’re just scared of the dark… I’m not scared of any of those things but I have created my own fear that I am determined to overcome this new year. My fear was created by love… The very thing I once had and dreamed of never letting go. I fear the number 24. It all stemmed from the day my longest relationship officially started. At the time of the relationship each 24th of the month was a mental lift, a happy smile, a good time… but when it all ended the number 24 took on something else… something sad. I started to see the clock always having 24 in it. Almost like my brain was hardwired to look at it all the time at the 24th min of every hour. Then things starting going bad on the 24th of each month. I was sad on those days and it didn’t end there. If I bought something with 24 in it, like a t-shirt from express… That shirt would rip or fucking dyed all my white clothes pink.. Damn I hate when I do that. 24 just haunted me… I started to avoid it at all cost.

But why did it have to be that way?! After all, the number came from the love I had. It was the greatest number in my life and somehow I made it into something I feared. It’s funny how we often do this. We can take great moments of love and companionship and rationalize them as things we never should have partaken in. It’s a way to make us feel better…feel safer…not used…not vulnerable. But I hate it. I took something so pure and made it evil for selfish reasons. If you’ve never done what I’ve done then you’re pretty cool. But if you’re riding in the same ship as me, then let’s jump. Because honestly, it’s not the right thing to do. It’s a cover up, an easy way out. So this year I’m confronting my fear and I’m starting to love again. Opening my heart to new music, new people, new hobbies, and the number 24 will be with me along the way. I AM24 Dear Friends and readers,  this has been such a great year of sharing and growing together. Even with out a salary, or a lover, or a six-pack like wolf man from Twilight (Yea I know his name but I’m not saying it on my blog), I’m still in my prime and ready to continue it all.

I hope everyone smiled at least once today Merry Christmas You Filthy Animals !

And Happy Birthday to ME!!!

Arroyo Over-N-Out

Erin K. Lee (Our Guest Writer)

Thanks for sharing Erin

Alright, so this blog is supposed to be about 20somethings who are essentially broke. Well, since Dan is only 23 years and 361 days old, I’ll speak from two additional years of experience.  It hasn’t gotten much better… I’m 26 and still broke.

Dan’s letting me guest write on his blog and I don’t really want to mess this up so there’s a lot of pressure to pick something interesting related to: Who’s Counting? The first, obvious, and probably most interesting would be related to the number of people you’ve slept with. The second option I thought of relates more to this concept of ‘without a dime.’ Counting your money: whether it’s cash, checking account, bills, etc. Now that I think about it, Dan is behind by a day on his ‘Christmas Countdown’, so I can write TWO entries!

Who’s Counting? S3x

How many people have you had sex with? It’s a question that everyone asks when sleeping with a new person.  I’ll admit, I ask it.  Although, I’m not really sure why I do.  I think I ask because I am atypical girl… I want to know what I’m up against.  What if this guy had sex with like 47 girls?! Chances are at least 15 of them were better at it, prettier, skinnier or had bigger boobs than me. So much pressure! But then what if he’s only had sex with 1 girl because he was in a long-term relationship for a number of years. Well man, they’ve probably tried everything in the book. I’m gonna have to step up my game.

I guess the sensible side of me has decided that a person’s number doesn’t really matter.  The question we actually need to be asking is: Have you been tested recently? I am a huge supporter of getting tested for STDs. I pay for health insurance; I might as well use it! Granted, the poking and prodding is less than enjoyable (and guys, do not tell me that you have it worse because I will happily describe an OBGYN appointment in detail and prove you wrong), but if I can confidently say I’m free of any diseases, I’m a happy camper. The extra sensible side of me says that even when your partner says their clean, use a condom! This is just extra insurance and prevents that whole getting pregnant issue.  There are very few broke 20somethings that need to worry about themselves AND a baby.

Sensible side of me is a genius. Irrational side of me knows that I will always ask a guy how many people he’s slept with because I can’t stop that insatiable curiosity. There’s always the need to compare my sex life to his.  Has he slept with more people? Less? Hopefully, his answer will be the ‘right’ one and he’ll say that he’s slept with X number of people and his number will be very close to my number.  Then, I can rest easy……… but maybe he’s just lying…….. Irrational side of me is generally overpowering.

Who’s Counting? Money

Back in the day of my very first job and all through college, I maintained a checkbook.  I was the perfect financial example for those in their early 20s.  I saved my receipts and entered them into my checkbook and made sure the balance equaled what I saw online.  I had a healthy savings account with regular deposits and rare withdrawals.  I had one credit card that I got at 18 to establish credit, but paid off my balance in full each month.

Where did things go wrong? Over time, I balanced my checkbook less and less.  But I didn’t need to! I had online banking and could check my account daily if need be… and I usually did. As of late, I almost never check my checking account balance online.  I don’t want to see the balance. I get text message alerts if I get a low balance and can transfer money, but otherwise, don’t show me how much money I spend on absolute crap.

Yep, I’m in denial. I’m just trying to ignore the fact that I am broke. That savings account I could always brag about in college? It’s gone. That credit card balance that was alwayspaid off? Mmm, there’s now a multiple digit balance that carries over each month. And there’s also that one loan I took against my 401(k) and that other loan that is in my mom’s name (she could get a better rate) that I have to pay back as well. Things are looking dismal.

My Home Sweet Home (Condo)

I flip flop nearly every day on how I feel about my meager money situation.  Many good things have happened in my life that cost money. I bought a condo at 23. I had to take a good chunk of money out of savings for the closing costs. I moved to Boston last year and spent quite a bit of money on hiring movers (worth every penny). Then, I had to support rent for my apartment and mortgage for my condo for two months… yeah, that was rough. But on the plus side, I am so happy to own my own home. This condo is perfection. I wish I could transplant the condo to Boston. I am also so happy to live in Boston. This city is amazing… expensive as hell, but amazing.

I also can’t say that I’m very frugal. I know my credit card number by heart… yeah, I don’t need to explain anymore about that. I love to grab a beer (or four) with coworkers and have no problem picking up the tab if need be.  I go out to eat often; Boston has fantastic restaurants. I go on vacations. In fact, I’m going to Disney next month! I also pay to have my laundry washed/dried/folded and my groceries delivered.

Ok, so really I have no excuse to be complaining about money. Instead, I have realized that I’ve just stopped counting. I know I’m broke, but I’m choosing to ignore the fact. I’m still able to pay all of my bills on time, so why not just spend what I have and enjoy my life? Who’s counting? Definitely not me.

-eLee
Day 3: Fall In Love, I Dear You

What does it mean to be gay? I’ve been in a four-year Jesuit college at Fairfield University and now in another Jesuit college for grad school at Boston College. In each institution I’ve found myself taking on a project or presentation about sexual orientations and I’ve learned sooooOooOoo much. Yes, 5 years ago I was naïve as all heck. I didn’t know that people were born gay. I just thought they chose to be gay. It made sense to me at the time so I didn’t question it. Thanks to school and reading the bible and about Catholicism I could see how being gay was a problem… Or could I? I remember standing up in class defending homosexual people because of many reasons. For one, they are born just as other people are born heterosexual. The second reason is that I don’t follow the bible too seriously… It’s ridiculous. If you follow it that closely then you should know that having sex with contraceptives is not allowed. You should be popping out babies left and right don’t you know that!!?? It’s crazy. Well fast forward six years later and I’m in grad school taking on another project defending sexual orientations. Except this time the stakes are higher. I have more than a couple gay friends, and I know even more homosexual people who are the shitttttttttttttttttttttttt!! I mean seriously, they are just as cool as any of the other friends I made. But as I read about the students in high school are committing suicide because of their sexual orientation and people bullying them I want to scream!!! Has this nation not learned that discriminating against their own for something they don’t have any power over is ridiculous and a mistake we already made!! Lincoln freeing the slaves wasn’t enough of an example?!! Guess not. As time goes along I am starting to see that people are finally warming up to homosexuals but I know we are still far away from accepting them. I just wanted to challenge my readers to lend a hand. I know you all are morally sound if you’re reading this blog, but what about the people around you? If we’re going to make a difference in this world we have to in numbers. I challenge you to stand up to those you know who are wrong and just give some resistance to a gay slur or a person who is proud to be repulsed by homosexuals. Don’t go in guns smoking and try to be a hero, but a little resistance will go a long way. Together we’ll make a difference. And if you’re struggling with accepting homosexuals feel free to have a conversation with me. Sometimes all you need is a different perspective on it.

Arroyo Over-N-Out

DAY 5: WHO’s COUNTING?

I don’t know where I’m going with this… I may be thinking to blog about 7 ways to say no about why you don’t want to go on a date. Hmmm… Maybe I’ll write about seven ways to say no when you’re partner ask if you want to have a baby… You probably didn’t think I’d ever go there… You’re right. What about 7 Ways to say no to someone asking if you want to have sex?… I don’t know about that one though… I mean who really asks to have sex now days? It’s more like you both are feeling it and then it happens. If someone ask you to have sex, the answer should always be no. I mean seriously, nooooOoooOooo one asks to have sex… maybe sometimes… lol. I’m interested in the topic of 7 reasons to say no to sex. I just think this could be interesting. I’m doing some research on the top answers to my question so here’s what I found….

1)      I’m not a slut (indicating she wants you to earn respect)

2)      She’s not available (damn)

3)      We’re just friends. (Ouch)

Although these are all legit reasons I was hoping for better and more entertaining ideas so I interviewed myself and came up with these:

#7)  I don’t feeeeeeel like getting naked (Meaning she doesn’t want to see you naked)

#6) I just ate (I know… but I just cooked…)

#5) I’m not a girl (I respect the clarification)

#4) I’m Engaged (At least she’s not married)

#3) I’m Married (Well, we made it this far… )

#2) It doesn’t fit (This is awkward but don’t force anything)

#1) I’m not ready (If you wait five minutes and ask again, sometimes it works…)

This interview was done under the influence so do not try any of these without having a drink and toast to me!  Haha Enjoy

Arroyo Over-N-Out

Day 6: WHAT A GAY LIFE

Do you remember playing the date game? Ah probably not… Well when you’re in your twenties you get this thing handed to you called life, and you go around and meet people and date. Dating… it’s amazing, and sometimes it’s not. It all depends what draw you get. Going back to the beginning of school I was dating some people and I remember, for the first time in my life it was cool to see what different type of personalities are out in this world. I dated different nationalities, and it was ammmmmmmmmmmmmazing. An eye opener … I would say so. I am here today on day 8 of the Arroyo Christmas Count Down and I’m encouraging all of the single people out there to go and date!!! If you can be single and mingle and I recommend it. When else can you go around and experience different kisses and different huggers and different cuddlers. Some crazy stories I can recall… hmmmm… One time I had a hard time kissing this person who refused to share the tongue… It was weirrrrrrd…. I’ve done the walk of shame, male edition… And quiet girls are never reallllllllllllllllllly quiet. If they look like they have a secret… they probably have a secret. That’s what I learned. Dating also means you can see more than one person at once. That does not mean you should be sleeping with more than one person at once. That’s breaking the dating rules.. I think… It’s all confusing… Either way, Tis the season to Date. So grab a girl or a guy, look for a place to hang out that’s fun, find a groupon and DATE it up!! Then share some fun stories with me and I’ll share some with you.

Arroyo Over-N-Out

Day 7: “7 Reasons to say NO”

Hostage Talks Take-1:

Government: “Hi, this the negotiator. I want to make sure everyone is alright.”

OCCUPY BOSTON: “We’re fine.”

Government: “great, I want to keep it that way. What can I get you in order to keep everyone safe? What are your demands?”

OCCUPY BOSTON: “Demands?… Shit, I didn’t think of those… Damn… I knew I forgot something…”

And as soon as I was going to lose all hope for them because they did this I thought of one more analogy… It’s like going to school but not knowing what you want to become… Oh… Yeah, I guess we’ve all done that before. But at the national stage, you don’t do it, and Occupy Boston (Wall Street) you went there. You hosted a party and invited everyone, when we all know the best parties are with the ones who want to party. As soon as the drug dealers start occupying your tents… time to close up shop and go with plan B. Either way, I admire their courage and effort. This was the first public outcry to us all that eventually the poor and dying middle class will rise. Look how much attention Occupy Wall Street got… Now imagine actually HAD a list of demands… Stay tuned… I wonder if Dr. King had a son. We need a leader to rise to the occasion and show the nation what being united is all about…

Arroyo Over-N-Out

Tomorrow’s Post

DAY 8: “THE DATE GAME”

I remember embarking on a mission, a challenge… I entered grad school at Boston College today. I didn’t really know what I was in for, nor did I know what obstacles lay ahead. I just remember saying that I was going to knock em’ all down and keep moving forward (Kind of like in the Juggernaut’s Voice) . In some ways I have accomplished that very statement, but in no way did I ever imagine those obstacles bringing me to the brink of quitting. Now here I am (A soul Survivor!!)  The Vice President of the Graduate School at Boston College, and no I do not say that like it means something special.  For me, all it means is that I survived the first year of grad school, and now I get to help those clueless students who will get smashed with unforeseen moments in life. More importantly, I think these moments come in all of our lives. Students in school, graduates from college, graduates of high school, people who have never gone to school… Sometimes things will happen to all of us, and we will have no way to explain it. Instead of closure, life gives you two options… Life will take something you love away and say, “Hey, you can either accept that I took this from you and continue to grow, or you can waste your time and keep asking for it back…” I don’t agree with life at all. Why is it a waste to want something back that I really loved and miss?! I say fuck you life, I’m gonna wish this thing back for a couple more months and then I’ll move on when I’m ready. That’s my motto, but with the beginning of a new school year, I just wanted to ponder this question for the record. One year from now, where will you be? One year ago, are you now where you thought you would be? One year from today, will you be where you want to be? I usually plan a week or so in advance… One year from now… wow… I’m thinking hard and if there is one place I want to be, it’s going to be a happy place. When people take things so seriously, all you have is a stressful, highly professional, maybe somewhat successful, stressful, did I already say stressful?? I apologize… stressful life. I‘ve seen the serious side and I say don’t stay there for too long. This year is the year of fun. I know I’ll make it because I have some great people surrounding me, counting on me as I too count on them. One year from now I’ll be Dan Arroyo, amateur blogger, professional fun starter and hopefully one year from now you’ll all be loyal fans!! Good luck to all the people who are moving and starting over. Good luck to us all who are entering another year of academia. And good luck to life, because no matter how many times it challenges us, we will continue to kick it’s ass.

All this talk about the world ending… One year from now will we be here? I think the world was suppose to end like 12 times already. I just want to say that if the Mayan’s are wrong… if Nostradamus is wrong… can we please put an end to all this world ending crap??!!!! The world will end one day, most likely… but I highly doubt it was predicted so many years ago. And even if it was, what can we do about it?! Just enjoy each day and be happy as much as you can. That’s the truth of it all…

No I won’t have this car in a year from now (or maybe everrrrrrrrrrrr)…. but I will still be dreaming about owning it in a year from now!!!!

Arroyo Over –N- Out

Arroyo

Over-N-Out

In Honor of Matthew Dinihanian moving to California, I thought it was only appropriate that I gave him a good luck cast off by yours truly. Matt, (a.k.a. Dinnah, or Dinnah A.K.A. Matt) Ct is truly going to miss you in every way. I don’t even know where to start… When I first met you I didn’t know what to expect. A very hairy Armenian that loves the Mets, Ravens, Jets, and not showering. I knew we would work out just fine. You became a great friend of mine in less than a year. Like Step Brothers, the movie, we stayed home during breaks at school and cleaned our room. We lofted our beds almost 6 months in to our sophomore year at F.U. even though everyone else did the first day they moved in… We didn’t care. Matt, I was with you when you decided to buy your first new car. And you still have it. You ended up leaving the donut shop so that you could spend more time at school. Great decision. You and I endured the most tumultuous years of Flag Football together at F.U. just to be followed by the greatest back to back titles we could have asked for. We’ve been through some nail bitters in our basketball championship loss, and our pickle ball championship loss… Even though I missed that last shot in B-Ball I still blame you for both losses! … haha… You’ve been an anchor for so many people in CT and Stratford boyz. Fact is, you guys are all like family, and that is something no one will be able to take from you. Now you’re off to a new chapter in your life. Leaving behind an Empire you help build. All you Stratford people will be losing something amazing. CT will be losing a part of history. The man that does not need sleep, sleep needs him. The man who connected the F.U. class of 2009 to the Stratford crew which lead to hook ups and friendships that will never be forgotten. Truly magical things happened just because of your ability to share the good things in your life. All those pong games we played together… We had to hold hands to pray and we did. We just did whatever we had to do… The fun I had with you man, is something that I will never forget. I will carry you on my shoulders whenever you want, and I always will expect the same from you! Do you Remember the party we set up for all our good friends during Senior week? That was all us man! With the help of Janet some too.. but all us!! The Eagles Nest served as a transition for us friends who just weren’t able to let go of college… We just weren’t ready. When my relationship ended with someone I loved and I didn’t know where to go to deal with those relationship pains… I went to the Nest.. You guys were the greatest. Casino trips on the fly. Singing and chanting in the middle of Fox Woods… The greatest civil war team assembled in all WHITE… And oh, oh, oh, pushing out the cars after we got snowed in at the nest… for 5 hours!! The moments go on forever Matt. I know you didn’t plan it all but you were part of it all. I just wanted to say thank you so much brother. It’s time for CT people to Shea Goodbye! Lol Matt we were there together… Great times… I know I speak for many when I say that CT will miss you, but just in case my voice isn’t loud enough, I hope people will feel free to share their goodbyes with you the comment board!! Good luck Matt. I know good things will follow you where ever you go, but I also know crazy things will follow you too so just be careful my friend.

Arroyo

Over-N-Out

At the beginning of life, many children are fostered into this world with the loving arms of their parents. These little organisms are cared for with the delicacy that is hard to describe, but I’ll compare it to your first new car. You don’t really want anyone else to touch it, get too close to it, and yet you want everyone to experience it and you want to show it off. Unless your first new car was like mine, not yet to purchased… While many of us were fortunate to have two parents to love them, some of us only had one, and some of us at first had none. It’s so easy to take for granted that your parents will always be there for you as a child, but many children grow up a different way. Some times the situation doesn’t allow for the biological parents to be a part of the picture at all. All I know is that the people who provide you with that love that you need to have a chance of pursuing your happiness, those are your parents and you love them with all you got. Once you’re a teenager it’s a crapshoot as to who’s going to survive into the early adult years, and who is going to just make one too many mistakes. I know we all see this happening. It’s kinda like the season finale of Power Rangers… you knew one of them wasn’t going to make it to the next year. Teenage life is amazing. So unstable, and yet so beautiful. Like Tequlia… we all have our Tequila story. And notice how I said story, because most of the time (like 98% of the time) we learn from that one time and never do what we did with Tequila again. So, when we made it, we survived our teenage years, we decided to answer the calling of our nation. We wanted to get more education like our parents encouraged us to do, and the government encouraged us to do. However, it’s the debt and the excessive prices of private colleges that leave me scratching my head. I just don’t get how colleges can charge $55,000 a year (8 months of school). It’s ludacris how much debt young adults are having to live with. It’s like they attach a boulder to your back and tell you to swim a mile… Not happening with out an oxygen tank. But where is our scuba gear I ask?!! The government could be seen as this literally, but they are slacking. I talk to my friends now and it really does take a toll on how they live their lives. Many of them tell me, “If I had a choice I wouldn’t have gone to this school.” But the marketing is great. The concept is ever greater. You give students a nice financial package early on, like freshmen year. You give them more than half in grants, and then their second year give them about half in grants. These grants you don’t have to pay back, but when their last years come around and they are so invested in the school (already made friends, half way through their major to earn their degree, use to that school) then the schools give you less than half in grants and you’re forced to take out the loans. The big loans, and come graduation, you owe $60,000 and more! It’s a sad picture to see painted, but it’s even sadder when it’s a self-portrait. I should make it clear that  I understand that education is valuable, and I’m not asking for people to feel sorry for us, but many countries know the true value of education and provide free universities for their students. It’s just that this nation that we claim to be the “greatest” needs to take a step back and see that debt to this magnitude is not always motivating. Let us all remember that because we have education, anything is possible. I let debt roll off my back, just ask the debt collectors calling. I’m just not willing to let them collect my happiness. Enjoy the song!

Click to play the soundtrack —->> killin’ us

A Dan Arroyo Production

Arroyo Over-N-Out